Heeheehee! No, not the kind you’re thinking!
These old friends are “LISTS.”
We used to be best buddies. But now we’re not. I wish you would tell me why… (Sorry – I have Frozen on the brain!) Anyway. Somehow we lost touch with each other.
Then when I was reflecting on how I had become such a lazy bum, I realized that it was the loss of my friends “the lists.”
Somewhere along the way, I stopped keeping them (well except for grocery lists – I’d be TOTALLY lost without those!) I don’t remember exactly how it happened, or even when. Was I making them and not crossing anything off so I didn’t want the reminder that I was being a slug? Or did I become a slug after I quit keeping them? Who knows?
What I DO know, is that without them, I am unaccountable to myself. And that’s not good. I really do need adult supervision (as much as I hate to admit it) even if that adult is me. And my adult me makes lists. Lots of them. And then she actually looks at them, does the things that are on them, crosses them off, then makes new ones.
I know. This is probably a dumb thing to blog about, but I’m thinking if it’s a problem for me, it might be for you, too. And besides, you guys are my therapy, and I’m in desperate need of some at the moment.
Yesterday I blogged about the feeling that I was not being creative, and ended up talking about my lack of productivity and lists. Y’all were kind enough not to mention that I had derailed my own post. But when I re-read the post after hitting “publish” I realized I’d never solved my creativity problem and had turned it into a post about a completely different problem by the end. What a dork.
Then I woke up this morning realizing that the two issues ARE intertwined.
The fundamental problem is that I haven’t been “adulting” myself, which has led to a lack of productivity in general, which has bled into my creativity, as well.
I think the bottom line is, I have a hard time carving out the time to be creative when I haven’t done the basic things I need to do in order to have an organized, functional life. Or in other words, how can I justify sitting down and “making something,” when I haven’t even “found the time” to dust or do the laundry?
My “adult” was missing in action, and my inner child (who is apparently a lazy slob) had taken over. But she needed to justify her slobfulness, so she filled her time with Facebook and games, making herself feel “oh so busy” so she really didn’t have time to do all those things she really didn’t want to do. But what the “child” didn’t realize was that she was also cutting herself off from the creativity she needed to feed her soul.
So… my adult has reappeared and taken control. She has already started the lists (and even crossed a few things off!)
As much as my inner child would like to assert that she’s not happy about this development, she really is like a REAL child that knows deep down inside that she need boundaries, and is grateful that her adult is providing them.