RSS Feed

Monthly Archives: December 2012

I’m Baaaaaaack!

It has been a rough few days for us. It is always a challenging time of year for us because we suffered two of our greatest losses in this month in years past. The sadness was elevated with the horror of Sandy Hook, and our inability to focus on anything else sent us both into a funk.

Then it was compounded by learning that Mr. Tattered will will be having a total hip replacement in early April, and my continuing back and foot problems have gotten the better of me. I finally had x-rays done and I’ve got a bone spur on the heel of my foot, and 2 compression fractures in my spine (from the rafting accident in March.) Good grief! I hadn’t expected either one of us to fall apart quite so soon!

The cumulative effect was that I decided to pout in private and wait to blog until I felt like I had something uplifting to offer.

It’s taken awhile, but I’m finally feeling more like myself.

Today I finally got the last of my Christmas decorating done. I’ve NEVER been so slow before! Now that it’s done, I can hardly believe I was such a slug. I LOVE how festive the house looks, and I suspect if I had forced myself to do it sooner, my funk wouldn’t have lasted so long!

So today I’ll take you on a little tour… It’s not EVERYTHING, but a nice sampling of Christmas at our house!

Christmas decor-w Christmasdecor2-w Christmasdecor6-w Christmasdecor7-w Christmasdecor9-w Christmasdecor10-w Christmasdecor11-w Christmasdecor12-w Chtistmasdecor4-w

It’s All I’ve Got

I borrowed this from Mary Englebreit’s facebook page.

I thought I had no more tears, but I do.

angel-w

Heaven has a lot more angels today.

 

“When I Say I’m A Christian…”

This is not the post I had planned for tonight.

You’ll have to come back tomorrow for that.

A  friend of mine on Facebook posted this, and it struck such a chord with me that I felt the need to share it.  Now. I’ve read many things by Maya Angelou, but never this. She captured the essence of what it means to be a Christian in such a simple, beautiful way.

“When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost, now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say… “I am a Christian” I don’t speak of this with pride. I’m confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak and need His strength to carry on.

When I say. “I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible, but God believes I am worth it.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches, so I call upon His name.

When I say… “I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner who received God’s good grace, somehow.”
― Maya Angelou

I have read it over and over, and am just so humbled to be so loved. I am so very happy to have a place to go where I can be my imperfect self,  to have my Lord know my every wart and still find me worthy of love, even when I fall so short of my intentions. And all I had to do was ask Him into my heart.
Wow.

An Amazing Gift

Today I received an amazing gift from my precious little granddaughter.

Bea is 4 and she’s my fancy girl. Hannah used to be fancy, but she’s growing up and is more comfortable now in jeans and a shirt. Bea still dresses in tutus and a variety of accessories even to go to the gym. If you want her in pants, you better have a GREAT sales pitch, because otherwise you’re going to have a battle on your hands.

Beachristmas-w

One of Bea’s mantras is that you cannot have enough accessories. AND, your accessories must be in your favorite color.

My favorite color is red. So when decided she was going to make me a bracelet, she knew it needed to be red, and since I love hearts and butterflies, it needed to have those as well.

She designed and strung the bracelet all by herself. Mama’s only contribution was in helping her figure out how long to make it, and tying the elastic for her. Mama told her I would be crazy about it, which when she told me, came out “Mama said you would be crazy at it!”

braceletonme-w

bracelet-w

Yep, I’m crazy at it okay!

But the best part is, she is a jewelry artist! And I own one of her very first creations!

To Santa or Not To Santa

It never occurred to me when I was a young mother to NOT teach my kids to believe in Santa Claus. There was just no question. I believed in Santa, and my kids were going to.

santaa&a-w

My kids with Santa 30+ years ago

I remember clearly when I discovered he wasn’t real. I was standing next to my brother’s crib talking to my mother and she said something casually about there not being a Santa Claus, and I was surprised. She was surprised that I was surprised, somehow thinking I no longer believed (I mean, I was seven, after all!) She thought I was pretending to believe because I was afraid I wouldn’t get any presents if I didn’t! My question was, “Well, does that mean there is no Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either?” Somehow I survived the revelation that it was all pretend.

So when my grandchildren came along there was no discussion about whether or not to tell them there was a Santa, it just happened. I must have known that some people don’t teach their children to believe…I mean, who hasn’t seen “Miracle on 34th St?” But in my world, everyone did.

Then when Hannah was in kindergarten, one of the kids said that there was no Santa, and surprisingly, no one but Hannah was surprised. She goes to a Seventh Day Adventist School, and I guess they don’t teach their kids there is a Santa, because they are afraid if they tell kids there is a Santa, then that he’s make-believe, the kids will think the same thing about Jesus. As far as I can remember, it was the first time I actually KNEW people who didn’t.

Fortunately, as a big sister, Hannah is keeping the secret for her sister and cousin. Bea asked Santa for a set of  American Girl Toddler Twins (“a boy and a girl with yellow hair”) for Christmas. I made the girls each a scarf this year, and with the extra yarn made a scarf for Hannah’s full-sized American Girl doll, and the girl twin that Bea will be getting. I put them in the girl’s advent boxes, thinking that Bea would think it was for her baby doll. But, when she opened it, she said, “Oh look, a scarf for my girl twin!” I said, “Well, Bea, you just asked Santa for one, that doesn’t mean you’ll for sure get it.” To which she said, “Well, Gaga, whatever you ask Santa for, that’s what you get.” I love it.

The kids know what Christmas is REALLY about, and that Santa is just another part of the holiday. Somehow I just can’t imagine it being any other way. Christmas is just so much more fun when there are Santa believers in the house!

So what do you think? Is the Santa thing a fun part of childhood that we all seem to survive with no harm done? Or is it a fraud we perpetrate on our children that could have potential negative consequences?

The Throne…of inactivity

I’ve been having a real problem with motivation lately. I have plenty to do. Even plenty that I WANT to do. But for some reason, I find my bottom glued to the throne. Yep, this is my throne. And it wouldn’t be so bad if a lot of action was occurring on the throne, but it isn’t. I mean, if I was spending my time learning how to use photoshop, for instance, I’d be okay with that. But there’s a whole lotta nuthin’ goin’ on.

Throne-w

I have everything I need to veg out close at hand. Computer…check. Table for setting my coffee/remote control on…check. Stack of Stampington magazines…check.

It’s getting to be a real problem for me. Normally I have so much energy. I’m up buzzing around, working on this and that. Lately all I want to do is park it on the throne. I’m surprised there isn’t an indentation on the seat that matches the contours of my behind. No, really. I’m not kidding.

But, the good news is I’m in the beginning stages of formulating a plan. I’ve been trying to self-diagnose my issues (and I’m sure there are many.) First and foremost, I’m continuing to be in a fair amount of pain, both from my back injury dating back nearly a year now, and my relatively new foot problem. I’m not going out on a limb by saying the pain is part (hopefully a BIG part) of what is keeping me down. Once I convince myself to get up and do something, it’s not long before I’m heading back to “rest.” Not good. As much as I’ve been hoping they would just spontaneously heal themselves, I’m conceding that the chances of that happening are slim and none. I will be making an appointment with my primary care physician (what’re you laughing about? I DO have one, even though she wouldn’t recognize me on the street it’s been so long since I’ve seen her) tomorrow.

I’m going to attempt a multi-pronged approach so that the steps are not one at a time, but several. That way, even while I’m waiting to see doctors, I’ll be working on other fronts.

The next most obvious one is to get back to using “to do” lists, so I’m at least setting goals for the day, rather than just floating along. Maybe if I look at a to do list for the day and see that I’ve done, let’s say roughly, NOTHING, I’ll feel guilty enough to do better the next day, especially since all the things that didn’t get checked off will move to the next day on top of all the the things that were there already.

I’m not kidding here. Day after day is going by with so little being accomplished, I’m beginning to think of myself as a slug. And that is NOT how I like to think of myself. I have always been very high energy. This newly slugfulness is just not working for me, especially since it has come at a time when I am a bit overwhelmed with how much I want to do in whatever remaining time I have left on this planet.

I was just telling Mr. Tattered a few days ago that until recently I had always figured I would be still be pretty darn productive and mobile at least until I hit 80. Now I’m wondering if that was a realistic assessment…and that freaks me out even more!

I’m assuming that a secondary issue is a bit of depression brought on (at least in part) by the overwhelming amount to do and the time to do it flying by. So which came first?  Am I depressed because of the inactivity, or is the depression CAUSING the inactivity?

Anyone else dealing with this? Any thoughts on how to tackle the issue? I’m most certainly open to suggestions!

Time Sucks

This is not the first time (nor do I think it will be last) I will post about time sucks. Not “time” sucks (although lack of it does!) but, rather, things that suck your time away without leaving anything of value in its place.

The primary one, of course, being the one I am sitting in front of now.

There are a TON (yes, a literal TON) of things I really want to do. Not just things I need to do, but things that I genuinely want to do. Things that make my heart sing. Things that make me look back at the end of the day and think “Wow! That was a day well spent!”

I cannot remember a day spent in front of the computer that I had that feeling.

Yet here I sit.

Not that I consider blogging a waste of time. I love blogging. I love compiling my thoughts and photos onto my blog page and sharing it with others, much as I would a scrapbook page. But I’m only blogging right now because I have been sitting here playing “poppit” for an hour, switching over to facebook every once in awhile to see what the rest of the world is up to, and it suddenly occurred to me (for the gazzillionth time) that I waste a LOT of time on stuff that doesn’t matter. That, had I spent it more wisely would have amounted to something other than just time passed.

“If you enjoy the time you wasted, it isn’t wasted time”

That saying appeals to me because it validates that my wasted time isn’t REALLY wasted, but does it pass the Pinocchio test? I’m not sure it does. Or at least not in vast quantities.

I’ve often thought I should put a timer next to the computer and click it on every time I start doing something on the computer that isn’t productive. I’m talkin’ here things other than research, answering e-mails, processing photos…the REAL time-wasters – like pinterest, facebook, innumerable political blogs…then I start rationalizing. But…But… I get really good ideas on pinterest, and surely keeping up with friends (or people I barely know) and businesses is not ALL bad. And I need to be politically aware, and I can’t just let the photos sit there unsorted.

In the meantime, my studio is unusable because it is such a mess, it’s the 8th of December and most of my Christmas decorations are still in boxes in the dining room – an 8′ ladder is in the kitchen, and it’s nearly 2pm and I’m still in my pjs. I have no idea what I’m fixing for dinner, I’m picking up the girls in about 3 hours to watch them while mama and daddy go to a Christmas party, and I’m in serious danger of having to wonder where the day went. Again. Hmmmmm…I wonder.

%d bloggers like this: