I have to laugh at myself (it’s that or cry, and I’m afraid if I start I won’t be able to stop!) I started this blog post about not blogging way back in August. And here I sit in October, no further along. It’s gone way beyond being ridiculous. It’s time to fish or cut bait, so to speak.
So, here I am. I’m going to lead off with the post that is in my drafts, and see where it takes me. If you’re reading this, it means I made the decision to keep blogging. Here goes.
A Blog On Life Supports
Yep. Life supports. It’s in a vegetative state, and the only thing keeping it alive (at all!) is that the space is still here. It has been well over half a year since my last post. I’m so unhappy with myself all I can do is shake my head.
There are a number of reasons for it.
For starters, I was using it as a means for chronicling life in a way that might also be interesting to others. As each year ended, I had the blog printed and bound into books that gave me a touchable history of the year, since it was obvious I was not going to do a good job of keeping up with my scrapbooks. But then I started doing a “photo journal” that hit my need to document with scrapbooking, and it was taking up quite a bit of time, as well as making the blog “less necessary.”
And to be painfully honest, I’ve been wasting an incredible amount of time playing stupid games – spider solitaire, toy blast and word connect are my current addictions. I tell myself it’s good to keep my brain engaged, and all of these involve either strategy or thinking. And although that is true, I’m afraid it’s really just an excuse.
As is my addiction to politics. If I could read about, watch the pundits on tv and write about it 24/7, I might just do that. And Facebook. Talk about addiction. It’s not a good thing.
But the biggest reason is my “out of control” photo storage which is clogging up my computer (Mr. Tattered calls it the world’s most expensive thumb drive.) In order to blog, I need to get the photos off my phone and onto the computer, and with 20,000 photos on it already (yeah, I know – shocking, isn’t it?) I’m afraid to put more, for fear it’ll crash the computer.
So, rather than deal with the storage issue, I stick my head in the sand. (If you’ll recall, I was raised by ostriches, so this is an easy feat for me. Ignore it and it’ll go away.)
Behind the scenes I’m having a big battle with myself – do I get back to blogging? Or do I close it down? Thus the life support system. I can’t make up my mind. I keep going back and forth, each side having it’s pros and cons, neither an overwhelmingly obvious choice.
That’s where I left off, so now fast forward to October 6th.
I’ve actually made a tiny bit of progress. I researched how many photos I can store on this computer, and it seems to be more than I thought, so I bit the bullet and downloaded 8K photos from my iPhone (who has 8 THOUSAND photos sitting on their iPhone not backed up, including trips to Europe and China? Seriously, who does that?) And the computer didn’t crash. Probably not my brightest idea, but it seems okay for the moment.
And, I’ve had a political lightbulb moment. All the “paying attention” to what is happening in the country I have been doing for the last ten years+ has not accomplished a single thing. Not one. The country is more messed up than ever after all my years of oversight, and I don’t even want to think about all the hours I’ve lost to it. I feel like Charlie Brown kicking at the football Lucy pulls away at the last moment. I keep believing THIS TIME WILL BE DIFFERENT.
The games are still an issue, but I’m stuck on a level I can’t seem to get passed on Toy Blast, and my frustration with that has slowed me down. The Universe’s way of saying knock it off? We’ll see.
Anyway, as best as I’m able, I’m done with the worst of the time wasters. If I’m not checking my newsfeed to see who has written a new opinion piece, maybe I won’t feel the need to be on Facebook all day, and if I’m not on Facebook, the games won’t be sitting there mocking me, enticing me to go just a little further up the levels. For now, some time is freed up. So yep, I’m going back to the blog and see if it gives me the same pleasure and sense of purpose it used to give me.
Buckle up. I have a lot of catching up to do.