My life has been nearly a creative desert since returning home from vacation. Well, if you don’t count working on photos and putting together blog posts and scrapbooking. Okay. Never mind. I’ve been creating. Just not the kind of creating that is sufficiently nourishing my soul.
And I miss it.
I blame it on not enough hours in the day, but you know what? That’s kind of a cop out. If I compare my days now to a few years ago, I am on the computer WAAAAAAY more now than I was then. Not just on Facebook, which is a MAJOR time suck, but playing that stupid game spider solitaire, which has become a mindless addiction that I justify as mind-stimulating. But it’s not really. It’s what I do when I just want to fill my time. When I don’t want to just sit, but I don’t want to put out any effort, either.
I have gotten lazy. That is hard for me to write, because I have never seen myself as a lazy person. Quite the opposite, in fact. But if the shoe fits…
Truth is, I’m not requiring enough of myself.
I used to make long, exhaustive lists, then work my way through them, crossing off each task as it was accomplished, and I got a lot of satisfaction from drawing the lines through each as it was completed. Then to look at it at the end of the day and see how much I did… I found it very rewarding. And it wasn’t all just work. My lists OFTEN included working on/completing creative projects that I really WANTED to do, not just the mundane tasks necessary to keep a functioning household.
I haven’t made a list in ages. It’s been way too long since I’ve experienced the pride of looking at all those crossed off tasks.
So. What’s it going to be, Janet? Are you going to slide into permanent slugdom, or get off your LAZY bum and get back to yourself former productive self?
Productive self. Yep. I’m going with that.
Step one. Close down that game app. Excuse me. I’m going to do that right now.
K. Done. I didn’t put it on a list, but I mentally crossed it off. No more stupid games. I really do have better things to do.
Next up. A list. Actually, more than one. I need a master list of unfinished projects to start hacking away at. I need a list of things I need to do around the house and yard. And I need a list of daily things I need to do to take care of myself. Now THERE’S a novel idea – actually PLAN to take care of myself.
This sounds almost too good to be true, which usually means it is. So, don’t hold me to it. It’s an idea, the beginnings of a plan. It’s not set in concrete.
So while I contemplate, I think I’ll go to my happy place.