I’m not sure how or when it happened, but at some point in time, the idea that “food=love” took root in my brain. And worse, if the food involves fat and sugar, it’s even more loving.
And the ridiculous part is, I KNOW that an addiction to sugar is bad. I would NEVER give alcohol to an alcoholic, but for some reason I continue to rationalize that “a little sugar is okay.” And maybe it is for some people. But not for me. I feel better when I’m not eating it. But give me a bite, and I’m toast.
Case in point. Thanksgiving. It’s a time for family gatherings and FOOD. And of course I made my mom’s fudge – a family favorite, and so disgustingly good it should be illegal. I’ve really been watching my sugar intake, (not perfect, mind you, but pretty darn good) and I had every hope I would be able to resist. Then it was, well, one piece won’t hurt. Then…I don’t want to confess any more than that. Let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.
Yes, this was an act of love on my part. How could we have Thanksgiving without Grandma’s fudge?
But it set me back two weeks. Minimum. I KNOW that sugar affects the same pleasure point in the brain that cocaine does. So why do I continue to do that to my family in the name of love? I need to get over it. Or I need to replace it with “healthy food = love.” But no one goes on and on about how great my healthy food is. My fudge gets rave reviews. Like I said. I need to get over it.
On a positive note, I went for a hike with Mr. Tattered for the first time in WAAAAAAY too long. I’ve blamed it on my back, and there is some truth to the excuse. But, I strapped on my back brace and did it. We went about 3 miles up in the hills, and I did fine. I don’t think I could have done it without the brace. And last time I tried it, it didn’t work so well. Maybe enough time has gone by, and my back HAS healed some. That is something to smile about. It was a beautiful day.
Maybe if I start hiking more, wearing the brace more, and QUIT baking stuff with sugar, and can get back in the healthy groove I had been in I can make it through the Holidays without doing any more damage!
Now just in case you thought I would fall down on the art front just because AEDM is over, I want you to know, I didn’t! It wasn’t as productive of a day as yesterday, but I DID make some progress. Are you getting tired of seeing the pages? Maybe I’ll show you where I am tomorrow…