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This Is Not The Post I Was Going To Write…


Seriously. If I had a topic picked out, it has left my head at the moment, but THIS was not it, I promise.

I have a tiny confession to make.

I have written frequently on these pages over the months about my daily Brave Girls messages, AND my messages from the universe. I have gotten so much hope from them. They have often been just exactly the words I needed to hear, and I’m frankly, amazed at how on target they are.

Which begs the question, “Are we all getting the same messages, and they are universal – or are they tailored for us some how, and we are all getting different ones?”

I know they must be all the same. How could a computer be generating custom made messages for each of us?

But that’s getting off my point. Which is my confession.

I have been dumping my messages without reading them for awhile now. Maybe just a few weeks, I lose track.

Why? Because I’ve stopped believing them. Because I am so sick of hearing that I’m enough, that I’m amazing, that wonderful things are waiting for me right around the corner, when the me who believes I am NOT enough, who believes I am NOT amazing, who does NOT believe wonderful things are coming has taken over my brain.

And then I get an e-mail from my friend, Naomi, which includes a forward of a Brave Girls message that she thought I needed to hear today.

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And you know what? It’s true. I mean except for the phenomenal part (okay, MAYBE, even that.)

I am no different from any other woman who is a mother or grandmother, in that we have very difficult, sometimes unappreciated jobs. We do soooooooo much that is “behind the scenes” – unnoticed unless it doesn’t get done. So I have a hard time seeing myself as phenomenal. But you know what? I sorta am. We all are.

I mean, isn’t it amazing that although we don’t get “paid” for it, at least not in the form of a paycheck, we keep doing it? We don’t get performance reviews where we get to see in black and white how much progress we’ve made. Or get to hear what an asset we are to the organization. OR that we are getting a 5% performance raise because of it?

But we ARE accomplishing so much. We are raising functioning adults in a climate where that is not an easy task. We are putting our children/grandchildren’s well-being far ahead of our own. We are juggling so many responsibilities all at once, and rarely do any of them slip through the cracks.

Yeah, sometimes the house is a wreck (and of course EVERYONE notices that!) but mostly it’s livable, and sometimes even clean. There is almost always food in the fridge and in the pantry, and sometimes even meals on the table before anyone is starving. No one is running around naked, and usually there are clean clothes in the closet and drawers.

There are often sounds of children laughing coming from the house. There are photos on the walls of fabulous vacations, and even a scrapbook or two (or even dozens) attesting to happy times that didn’t just magically happen.

At risk of yakking your ears off, I’ll stop there, but there is SOOOOOOO much more that we do.

Why is it so hard to remember that just because at the moment we’re concerned that the health department might pop in? That all we can see are the piles of things left unfinished?

Hahahaha! Thank you, Naomi. I really needed to hear that today.I NEEDED to be reminded that not everything I do shows up in a snapshot! And I’m going to start reading my daily messages again.

Who knows? Maybe if I hear the good stuff enough, it will drown out all the crap my mind likes to throw at me. Hahaha! I can always hope.

And maybe we can keep reminding each other?

About tatterednworn

I am a woman who has committed to living a creative life.

6 responses »

  1. You hit several ‘chords’ with me, thanks for sharing!!!!! I too have the 3 beautiful grandkids, that I am pouring into at this time in my life, love it, love it, and I know its worth it, but can’t seem to get anything else done. Its all Ok and its all gonna work out for good. God says so!!
    xoxo

    Reply
  2. a woman’s work is never done (or appreciated often) and I think we hold up MORE than half the sky most days.

    Reply
    • I’m TRYING to remember that the “he” around here does a lot that doesn’t show up, either. But I think I am better at verbalizing to him my appreciation, and I focus more on what he does, than I do on what doesn’t get done. But I think overall, you’re right. Thanks for weighing in, Deb!

      Reply
  3. Well I’m so glad you wrote THIS post instead! It’s so easy to concentrate on what we haven’t gotten done rather than what we HAVE. You’re right… nobody is going hungry or wearing dirty clothes. That ought to count for something! Plus, all the thinking we do about our tasks must indeed help us when we finally get to them. Then we can just knock them out! I sent this to you because you see there are many definitions of “productive” and you have been very hard on yourself, little missy. 🙂 I think you’re doing fabulously.

    Reply
    • Oh, Naomi! You are so wise for such a youngin’! Being hard on myself is what I do best, you know that! Thank you (yet again!) for giving me another way to think about things! And for thinking I’m doing fabulously…

      Reply

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