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Just Not Feeling It


The challenges I set up for myself in both June and July to keep myself moving forward and goal oriented have been busts. June was “paper crafting” and you would think a paper crafting junkie would find it to be a piece of cake. But, no. It was hard every day. Getting anything worked on, let alone completed was nearly impossible. July has been even worse. The idea of tackling my green frogs was a good one, I think. But again, the execution has been terrible.

So, I’ve blogged about the stuff that was on my mind instead – not a bad thing – just undisciplined. And I dislike being undisciplined. No really. I do.

One of my favorite blog buddies is taking a few weeks off from her blog. She’s feeling a little overwhelmed, and like she needs to spend a little extra time with her family. Maybe she has the right idea. Is that my problem? I need to take a break?

Blogging is an optional pursuit. I don’t HAVE to do it. No one’s day is going to be ruined if I decide NOT to blog for a day or two. Seriously.

But somehow if I don’t do it, I feel like I’m letting myself down. No, that’s not right. I don’t feel like I’ve let myself down, I miss it. If I don’t write every single day, I really, really miss it. I LOVE to write.

Maybe the problem is that this is supposed to be a blog about my creative journey, and by reading it lately, you’d barely know I have a creative bone in my body. So the discontent I’m feeling isn’t so much that I’m having trouble coming up with stuff to blog about (I can talk about almost ANYTHING!) it’s that I’m once again missing the creativity in my life, and it’s coloring my whole world. The more I blog about non-creative pursuits, the more I recognize that I’m not being creative.

So, I’ve identified the issue. Now what to do about it?  I am most definitely in a rut. I find myself playing games on the computer whenever I have down time rather than doing the things that bring me real joy. It seems like I’m (dare I say it?) BORED? Is this what boredom feels like?

I have lots to do. I have lots to do that I like to do. I have projects lined up around the block. But I have to admit, none of them are really lighting my fire at the moment. I’m just not feeling it.

I found some pictures of jewelry I REALLY liked on pinterest a few days ago, and my heart actually started beating faster at the thought that I would love to try them. But, recreating them would have required buying a few more jewelry items, and I forced myself not to. I have way too much stuff I’m not using already. I’ve forbidden myself to buy more until I’ve used a substantial amount of what I already have!

Maybe I need to rethink that. Maybe a splurge now and then is needed to keep the creative juices flowing.

Hmmmmm…what do you think? Should I treat myself to some new toys and see what happens?

About tatterednworn

I am a woman who has committed to living a creative life.

3 responses »

  1. There you go over-thinking again! Just follow your heart. There are no obligations here. Believe me, I struggle too.

    Reply
    • I know you do! Did you recognize yourself as “one of my favorite blogging buddies?” My heart is a hard thing to follow, unfortunately. I don’t think even it knows what it wants!

      Reply
  2. Could you trade stuff you have for something you need for a project that lights your fire?

    Reply

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