Let me start this by acknowledging that I am mildly whacked. Okay, maybe moderately. I go along just fine for awhile, then all of a sudden I start fussing and fretting and over thinking things.
Today is one of those fussing, fretting and over-thinking day. It started with feeling of being a little overwhelmed, so of course the first thing I do is start analyzing why. Is my plate too full? Is it balanced? Where is the sense of overwhelm coming from? Is there anything I can do about it?
Sometimes I wish I didn’t do that and could just float through life. But I can’t. And really, is that healthy anyway? I like having at least the illusion that I have some control over my life, and in order to control it, I have to recognize when all is not as it “should” be in my world.
And today all is not well. There are a number of things on the “plate” of my life that are adding to my stress level. The biggest one is my dad’s trust and the glacial pace resolution of it is taking. But, on my behalf, little of it is under my control because of the way my dad had his life set up. I am stuck with HIS stuff, and it’s just the way it is. It needs to play out on its own timeline even though it doesn’t match mine. So I’m thinking rather than keeping this on my plate, I need to scoot it onto its own plate, and tuck it in the back of the fridge.
Another thing that is just hanging around on my plate is my weight/health. Those I CAN control, but I’ve chosen to just let them sit around taking up space on my plate, rather than dealing with them. I need to stop that. Sooner rather than later. They are important issues, and need to be front and center in my mind. And they are bleeding over into other things. They are keeping me from having the energy I need to do all the things I want to do. And even the things I DON’T want to do. I need a plan.
And the other biggest issue cluttering up my plate is…well, clutter. Too much stuff. Not REALLY too much stuff – more like too much stuff undone. Too many projects in various states of completion stacked up waiting for me to get enthusiastic about them once again. They’ve been around so long, that they’ve gone from being projects I was thrilled about to practically being my green frogs. Remember the green frogs I was going to deal with? Yeah those. When I got my frogs listed on paper, turns out most of them USED to be things I was excited about. But they took too long, or I hit a snag with them, and they got shoved aside. Or using my plate analogy, they piled up on it!
The interesting thing is how these things are inter-related. Which may be a good thing. Progress on one front will create progress on the other.
So, what to do? The weekend is here, and I need to decide if I’m going to use it to lay around, or work on getting this plate emptied out a bit so I can fill it up again with things that excite me. I’m thinking I need some excitement.