Do you ever surf around the internet and come across something that smacks you upside the head? I do often.
This is my most recent find.
It’s making me wonder yet again if I am building walls that are keeping me from pursuing the things I really want.
I seriously do not understand this. I am settling into the idea that my creativity needs to be something I do to enhance my family’s life/well-being rather than something I do as a business. And it feels pretty good. I am not craving the approval of others that comes from having people plunk down money to own my art. I am watching as my artsy pals struggle with getting their businesses off the ground, and I think from time to time that I am grateful that I am not facing those struggles.
So why is it that when I see things like this, I find myself thrown back into the internal struggle with myself?
No matter how often I tell myself I have made the decision, and I’m going to stick with it, there is still that occasional yearning. And signs like this bring it on. A part of me says that I shouldn’t give up on something I can’t stop thinking about. The other that I had my shot, it didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, and it’s time to move on.
It’s not making me quite as crazy as usual this time, so maybe in time, the quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) yearning will go away. But I guess I need to be open to the possibility that somehow, some way, some opportunity might appear that makes sense in my world. Maybe things popping up like this are just little reminders to stay open to that possibility.
I think I may be okay with that. Nothing needs to be carved in stone. I don’t need to swear to myself I will NEVER own another creative business. All I need to do is promise myself that if I do, it will not be one that consumes my life. And, I don’t need to be searching for it, just open to the idea should it present itself.
Okay. I think I can live with that.