I inadvertently stumbled on something this morning, thanks to the encouragement of my friend Connie.
She commented on yesterdays post about working out in the garden by saying “way to go!” Now I read and reply to every comment made on my blog, and as I was thinking about what to say besides “thank you!” it dawned on me that without even realizing it, I had come to a crossroad.
You long-time readers know that I have had some challenging physical issues the last year that have had a profound effect on me. I have been gentle with myself, allowing myself time to heal (or so I told myself.) And to some extent it was true. I needed to let time pass and give my back and knee the opportunity to heal.
But, I think I overdid that, and allowed myself to become sedentary, something I have never been. There was a time not too awful long ago, I could run circles around women half my age. And I do know that with age I should expect to slow down a little, but this has gotten ridiculous, and it’s largely because mentally, I gave up. It hurt to do much, so I sat. And with each day I sat, it got that much harder to move. This is not me being hard on myself. It’s me being real. This is not who I want to be.
I think I finally scared myself, and from that fear forced myself to move in spite of the pain. Now in just a few days I seem to have my mojo back. I am not pain free, but I’m up and doing things in spite of it. When I feel like sitting down, I make myself do just one more thing, which has led to one more thing, and then another, until, at the end of the day I’m able to look back and see a lot of completed tasks. And it feels good. Really. Good.
So, I was traveling toward Old and Decrepit, but I caught myself, and now I’m headed down Strong and Productive. THAT feels even better.
Before signing off for today, I’d like you meet another flower in the garden:
This is Lavender – English Lavender. Last year I had Spanish Lavender in this spot, and I never really liked it. So, last fall I yanked it out and replaced it and I’m very glad I did. This is the traditional Lavender that you see tied with pretty ribbons and put in your under lovely drawer to make them smell nice. Oooooh…another project!