Oh, dear friends…you’ve heard the saying “if you can’t say anything nice, sit by me?” NO! It’s “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?” Well, along that line, I got so sick of listening to myself whine, that I decided to back off on blogging until I had something to say that didn’t involve whining.
I had no idea it would take this long…heeheehee! Now I am COMPLETELY out of the habit of blogging, and it feels like starting over! Thanks for bearing with me, and I hope you’ll get back in the habit of spending a few minutes a day with me, as I return to my creative journey! Wow! Creative journey. It feels good to just type the words again!
So, let’s start with a quick update.
I am slowly working through my physical problems, which I believe are a big part of my gloominess. I’m actually seeing doctors, which is HUGE for me. I got a brace for my knee AND my back, and both are aiding in my ability to get around better. I hope they are both temporary, but even if they aren’t, being more mobile is improving my sense of well-being. And finally being over the flu is good, too!
As for the emotional stuff, I KNOW that giving in to anger only hurts the angry person, so I am TRYING to just forgive and get over it. My dad was who he was, did what he did, and there is nothing I can do to change that. All I can do is try not to repeat his mistakes, do the best I can in executing his last wishes, and get on with life.
You may remember that I’ve whined in the past about wishing I could learn to spend time just “being.” Phooey! There are “be-ers” and “doers.” Since I’ve had so much time to just “be” lately, I’ve discovered that for whatever reason, I am NOT a “be-er.” I am a doer. And expecting a doer to be a be-er is like expecting a cat to be a dog. A cat can take on a few dog-like qualities (when they choose to) but it’ll still be a cat. So enough of that. I may decide to “be” when I want to, from time to time, but it’s not going to happen very often, and I’m good with that. Finally.
Now I’m on to getting some doing done.
I’m reinstating my to do lists, both long and short term. I’m making lists of the things I have to finish and the things I want to start. I’m going to allow myself the privilege of doing what I want to do when I want to do it, as much as is possible, without holding myself hostage to the notion that I have to complete the (fill in the blank) thing that I SHOULD do before I work on the (fill in the blank) fun thing I WANT to do. Surely I can find a balance in there somewhere. Life is just too short to be that structured. (Or I’m just giving myself permission to be irresponsible, in which case this whole theory will go out the window!) One way or the other, I need to lighten up and allow myself time to play.
This afternoon we are off with my daughter’s family to see Disney on ice, then out to our current favorite Mexican restaurant for dinner, and back home in time for the last season 3 episode of Downton Abbey. ACK! Since I already know what is going to happen, I’ll have a fresh box of kleenex on my lap (for both happy and sad tears!)
Monday I’ll be off my behind and back to to the life I CHOOSE to live. Hope you’ll join me!