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I’m Restless


There, I said it. I’m restless.

Normally I’m pretty content. But lately, I’ve felt like I am unfocused, have no real direction. I haven’t been able to put a name to it until now, but the truth is, I’m restless.

I spent twenty years of my life in a constant state of busy-ness. A big part of that life revolved around conceiving of ideas for displays, promotions, new products, growth, expansion – then, with the help of my staff,  set up a plan and execute it. As soon as one was complete, it was off to the next one, always with the big goal of creating a shop worthy of being featured in a major magazine.

Now, since selling the shop (prior to reaching that ultimate goal) I’m kinda floating. I have general ideas about what I would like to do, and plenty of projects to occupy my time, but I don’t have a specific, measurable goal that I’m working toward, and I’m letting it get to me. I’m sure much of my distress involves my unrealized dream, but dreams don’t always come true. It’s time to find a new one.

I know I need to have patience. Give the universe time to unfold in its own way. But patience is not my strong suit. And not knowing what I really want makes it difficult to formulate a game plan.

So, until such time that a “new dream” makes itself known to me, one that I can commit to, I need to find a way to channel the “restless” energy, and accept that although I am not where I want to be eventually, I AM where I need to be right now.

I’ve been looking at every day that I am not working toward a specific goal as being wasted time. I think it has just dawned on me that isn’t true. Every day there is stuff going on in the background, relationships being tended, my craft practiced, life lessons learned, and it’s all part of getting closer to discovering what that new dream will be. It’s not  waste of time. It’s all part of the journey. And I need to start enjoying every day of it.

Thanks for being here to help me figure that out.

About tatterednworn

I am a woman who has committed to living a creative life.

10 responses »

  1. Not always an easy place to be. I felt like that not long ago and was reminded that it’s not about the destination but about the journey, every step of the way. Maybe you are being given this time to help you re-assess things in your life and how you want it to look maybe? Beautifully written and expressed. It seems that through your writing you are figuring things out.

    Reply
    • It really was quite a different post than the one I set out to write, largely because my perspective changed as I typed. Writing does that for me! Thank you, Suzanne.

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  2. You know Janet, I can so very much relate to this feeling you are having. So many of the same restless feelings I had after selling my store. I know the same pang of going from full steam ahead each day in the running of a retail store and all the goals that come with that endeavor, to an almost lost feeling when it was gone. You and I are “doers”. We thrive on working hard and reaching deadlines and goals, only to quickly turn around and set more and be off to the races again. You and I both struggle with just “being”, resting and allowing a little of life to happen to us, instead of us making life happen for us. However, I do believe both of us are getting better at it and moving forward in our lives with purpose. Restless feelings come and go, and this too shall pass. You do so much each day for those you love, make sure in there, to take good care of yourself too.

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    • Wow, Ann, you nailed it. I do think I need to slow down a bit and let the universe catch up, and take care of myself. THAT, I’m really not too good at.

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  3. Your restlessness is a good sign. It’s letting you know that you’re on the search for “something”. It may be tomorrow or it could be 3-5 years away, but in the meantime, take each day as it comes and when you find that “something”, your heart will know it right away.

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  4. Its also been a full moon which always stirs me up!

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  5. Ooooh I love what you said: “accept that although I am not where I want to be eventually, I AM where I need to be right now.” – Hard thing to do. Seems I am always in search for where I want to be, instead of being in the present moment. Please pray for me Spare Mom. LOLOLOL I will pray for you too, that you find what you are searching for. Love you.

    Reply
    • I do, Darlin’! It is a hard thing to do, but if we are always looking for what’s coming next, it’s hard to enjoy what we’re doing now. Love you more!

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