Okay, so here I go…just a little skitzoid again.
Yesterday I was musing about about the possibility of learning how to just “be.”
Today I realized that it is just fighting mother nature. Some of us are “be-ers” and some are “do-ers” I’m pretty sure that I fall into the “do-ers” camp, no matter how attractive the “be-er” idea may seem at times.
That’s not to say that one is any better than the other, just different.
Somehow I let myself fall into the trap of thinking that “being” is a calmer state of mind. That by allowing yourself to just be, you cause your mind to quiet, and somehow are better able to be in the moment. And for some people it works. But not for everyone.
I am pretty sure I was made to “do.” Trying to quiet my mind and just “be” is an effort in futility that leaves me more distressed than I was when I just let my mind go in ten different directions and “do.” I am much more “centered” when I am accomplishing something that can be physically measured – knocking things off of a to-do list, finishing a project – “doing” something. All the lovely thoughts in the world cannot replace that feeling for me.
So, I need to just get over it and accept what I am.
The truth is, I’ll rest when I’m dead.