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I Hate Coming Up Short


I’m so mad at myself today.

After my post about not comparing yourself, unless it’s to your earlier self, I took the personal inventory I was talking about, and came up short.

There were improvements in some areas, but the most striking thing for me was how little I have been requiring of myself lately.

I have been letting myself off the hook too easily, justifying things all over the place – like not exercising, waiting until the very last minute on all deadlines (I’m getting worse instead of better) and generally being a slacker. I’ve been ignoring to do lists, not prioritizing, and worse of all, I’m not dreaming big…I’m barely dreaming at all.

There was a time, not all so long ago, that I had higher standards. I had more energy. I had more to show for my time at the end of a day. I pushed myself harder. Now I feel like I’m lazy. Floundering, even. One day blends into the next.

So, of course, I’m trying to figure out how and why I got to where I am.

(see tomorrow’s post for the diagnosis…)

About tatterednworn

I am a woman who has committed to living a creative life.

13 responses »

  1. Naomi Wittlin

    Would you please forgive yourself and let yourself have some much-needed and wanted rest? I think your body and mind are taking what they need. Be gentle with your tasks. Be compassionate with yourself. (note that I am laughing within because I NEVER heed this advice!)

    Reply
  2. Janet, you know I struggle with the same thing, I blog about it all the time. It is so difficult to motivate yourself, especially when your time is your own, and there is no boss yelling at you to get a move on. I am not going to tell you to take it easy, because you wouldn’t be chastising yourself right now if you were not ready to make a change. But I will say, that from my perspective, you have been through a lot this year, more than most people can deal with and not go batty. Through it all, you have remained inspiring, positive and genuine, and shared your journey with us all. You have needed time to heal and regroup. Now you are ready to do something different. Good, that’s the way it should be. We all hibernate when we are overwhelmed, then, if we are healthy in our minds, we come back out and face our next set of challenges, recovered and revitalized. Congratulations, and welcome back! I can’t wait to see what you do next…

    Reply
    • Sally you are so sweet. I know I’m going to be okay ultimately – I’m just a mess right now. And compared to what many are facing, my trials are soooo very small! I feel whiny even giving voice to them, but to stay quiet would NOT be “keepin’ it real!” So whiny wins out, I guess!

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      Reply
  3. Are you SERIOUS??!!!! This is a joke post, right Janet??!!! You are such a non-slacker it is not even funny!! May I remind you- blog every day, take your grand kids on fabulous trips and excursions and do art work with them, do your own art work, manage the Inspiration swap (and fix everyone’s issues), participate in ATC swaps, manage KRR’s ezine, and those are only some of the few things off the top of my head that you have done in the past few weeks!! My hand has developed carpal tunnel from trying to enter all the things you do!! Ok- maybe you need to exercise (I am not sure- your schedule really needs it, but since I love to exercise too I can understand the want/need to do so). Anyway- if you need a swift kick, it is for thinking you are a slacker. IMHO, you are not even close!!! We all love you- do not be down on yourself. I think you need a massage rather than anything more to do!! 🙂

    Reply
    • Well, when you put it like that…maybe I need to re-think this?

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      Reply
    • I KNOW I have answered this comment, but looks like it went to cyber-space instead of here! Anyway, NO it was not a joke post! Hahahahaha! Although now that I have been summarily chastised from all corners of the planet, I can see how you might think it was. Thanks all for the smack upside the head…I needed it!

      Reply
  4. Sometimes you just a bit of a breather, not really a kick in butt. I’ve read here that you’ve been spending time with the grandkids and doing art projects with them, how cool is that! Those are days you will not be able to replace even if you completed all the tasks on your lists. Take a break and then… get back to work! Ha!

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Re-thinking Things « Tattered 'n Worn

  6. Go to the beach,get a tan on, and have a Marguerita…then,live and let live….Relax! My kids are doing the Tahoe beach thing…go rock on….life is too short to short sheet yourself…your grandkids, your hubbie,and all the rest will say Amen….

    Reply

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