I’m so mad at myself today.
After my post about not comparing yourself, unless it’s to your earlier self, I took the personal inventory I was talking about, and came up short.
There were improvements in some areas, but the most striking thing for me was how little I have been requiring of myself lately.
I have been letting myself off the hook too easily, justifying things all over the place – like not exercising, waiting until the very last minute on all deadlines (I’m getting worse instead of better) and generally being a slacker. I’ve been ignoring to do lists, not prioritizing, and worse of all, I’m not dreaming big…I’m barely dreaming at all.
There was a time, not all so long ago, that I had higher standards. I had more energy. I had more to show for my time at the end of a day. I pushed myself harder. Now I feel like I’m lazy. Floundering, even. One day blends into the next.
So, of course, I’m trying to figure out how and why I got to where I am.
(see tomorrow’s post for the diagnosis…)