Do you have one of those friendships that is so complicated you kinda wonder why you don’t just cut the person lose?
We were very close. At one time we spent hours a night chatting over the internet. But, we’ve had a falling out. The reasons don’t really matter. To me they seem so trivial in the grand scheme of things. But not to her. I love my friend, and I would do nearly anything for her. Right now, that means leaving her alone. And as much as it hurts me, I’m giving her what she wants. I have no choice. You can’t make someone care about you the way you care about them.
But it’s just painful. I get to stand by and watch as she lives her life without me. Granted, I’m living mine without her as well, but it wasn’t my choice.
I wonder every day if she thinks about me. If she sees what I’m doing and is happy for me, or has just blocked me so she doesn’t have to watch. I think sometimes about blocking her, so I don’t have to have a visible reminder of the things I can’t share with her. But I don’t. I read everything she writes. I silently celebrate her victories, and wish I could comfort her when she’s sad.
I don’t know why she hasn’t unfriended me. I guess knowing that she hasn’t gives me hope that someday she’ll decide she wants to be a part of my life again.
“Never give up on someone you can’t go a day without thinking about.” I don’t know who said it, or if it is good advice or not, but I can’t go a day without thinking of her, so I can’t give up on her. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Have you encountered a situation like this? How did you handle it?