I’m going to tackle aging, pain and crabbiness first. It’s become a real topic of discussion in our household lately. Mr. Tattered is now on Medicare, and I turn 60 in a few weeks, so it’s bound to come up. As we look back on family pictures from days of old, and the current ones, it’s hard to miss that we ain’t spring chickens anymore!
Aging really didn’t bother me much before now. I flew through 30 and 40 like they were nothing, and even 50 didn’t phase me all that much. But with 60 looming? Hmmm. Not loving it.
And now, with my back injury taking so long to heal, I’m facing the possible prospect of chronic back pain, and it really has me taking another look at the aging process, and how the pain of aging alters our outlook on life.
I’m a basically cheerful person, with a happy disposition most all the time and a positive outlook on life. Even at 59 I’ve had a bounce in my step. I have known crabby old people, and I have known happy old people, and I always thought it was a choice. And, of course, I always knew I would choose happy.
Now I am not so sure it’s a choice.
I normally have a high pain tolerance. Things that would have many people crying, like slamming a finger in a car door, cause only a flinch. Even injuring my back didn’t cause me to cry. But the day after day pain is wearing on me, and I am beginning to see how debilitating chronic pain can be. It casts a a pall over your whole day, perhaps even your whole life. The bounce in my step is gone, at least for now, although I get a glimpse of it now and then.
I haven’t given up. I am working on strengthening on my back muscles, and I refuse to concede defeat. I still have hope that this situation isn’t permanent. But it is making me look at crabby old people in a different light. Maybe they DON’T have the choice, after all. Maybe the pain of aging is just more than they can take with a smile on their face.
Is that the lesson this injury is supposed to be teaching me? I have been a bit less than sympathetic to Mr. Tattered’s aches and pains over the years. And I certainly have found crabby old people to be a pain in my backside. I have often thought to myself that they need to “man up” and get over it. I am wondering now if I have been too harsh in my judgement, now that I have spent some time walking in their moccasins.
I have to admit, I’m anxious to get out of them, and back into my high heels.
Lord, almighty…light bulb moment. I just realized why my mother-in-law held onto her high heels for so many years after she was unable to wear them anymore…man do I feel like a jerk for scoffing at that (even though I did it out of her hearing.)
For my flower of the day, I’d like to present my delphinium. I just love the blue-edged blossoms. I have trouble getting the delphinium to return year after year, even though they are supposed to be perennials, so these are new. I’ve planted them a little more out in the open this year, in hopes that they will have an easier time coming back next spring. I hope the color is as shocking on your monitor as it is mine!
If you’ve been going over to Lori’s main May Flowers blog, you’re probably getting tired of the reminder, but just in case, she’s a wonderful photographer, as well as a very special lady…