Blogtoberfest Day #14
In my net surfing awhile back I ran across a post that really resonated with me, not only because I have 2 young granddaughters and a grandson who will have to face the world telling them they are not good enough, but because I remember well the world doing it to me. Click on the red words to see the original post – it’s worth the visit!
There was a time when you were five years old,and you woke up full of awesome.You knew you were awesome.You loved yourself.You thought you were beautiful,even with missing teeth and messy hair and mismatched socks inside your grubby sneakers.You loved your body, and the things it could do.You thought you were strong.You knew you were smart.Do you still have it?The awesome.Did someone take it from you?Did you let them?Did you hand it over, because someone told you weren’t beautiful enough, thin enough, smart enough, good enough?Why the hell would you listen to them?Did you consider they might be full of shit?Wouldn’t that be nuts, to tell my little girl below that in another five or ten years she might hate herself because she doesn’t look like a starving and Photoshopped fashion model?Or even more bizarre, that she should be sexy over smart, beautiful over bold?Are you freaking kidding me?Look at her. She is full of awesome.You were, once. Maybe you still are. Maybe you are in the process of getting it back.All I know is that if you aren’t waking up feeling like this about yourself, you are really missing out.
Well, at some point in time, someone took my awesome, and for the vast majority of my life, I’ve struggled to get it back, only to have it snatched away as I was about to grasp it.
I think there are many of us who, for whatever reason, have let our awesomeness be stolen, either as child when we were defenseless, or as adults when we didn’t know we could refuse to give it up. I wish I hadn’t waited until so late in life to realize that you can regain it.
Now, all of a sudden, the stars have lined up and I’m gettin’ it back.
I am watching others my age and older who have refused to give in to old age, settling for a boring, predictable caricature of what an “older woman” is supposed to look like and behave like, and emulate them. Betsey Johnson is one of those women for me. Yeah, she’s a little out there sometimes, being a fashion icon and all, but she is a 69 year old grandma who still rocks it. If I want to wear younger fashions, I’m going to, even if I have to make them myself (because they aren’t made for women with breasts – one of the places where Betsey does us oldsters a disservice, as her stores cater to the tiny sizes!)
I’m building a network of women friends (albeit mostly in cyberspace) who are validating me, supporting me, and encouraging me to be my awesome self.
I am listening to women like Melody Ross (of Brave Girl Club) who are wise beyond their years, telling us we are stronger than we think,
and brave enough to travel alone if we need to,
and able to start today from wherever we are.
I get affirmations from her several times a week in my in-box, reminding me (just in case I’ve forgotten since the last one!) that I am unique, and make a contribution – that I have value (I don’t know why it is so much easier to believe I don’t!)
Daily (sometimes more than once!) I am picturing myself just like the little girl above, feelin’ good about myself and lovin’ life.
Yeah, I’m gettin’ my awesome back, and this time, I’m keepin’ it!